Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Empty Menom

It has bee quite a while since I posted.
A lot has happened lately.  I graduated from college, been looking for jobs with no luck, and got my motorcycle license. 

I really don't have much to talk about.  I am quite bored here in Menomonie and my thoughts have been keeping me pretty busy.

My dreams lately have been random and vivid.  I had a dream about a certain someone this morning that is leaving me kind of melancholy.  Why do the good memories as well as the bad have to rain on my parade.  I should be really happy right now.  I managed to take an emotionally charged and hellish year and pull enough A's out of it to take my GPA up to a 3.5 and graduate with honors.  Plus I spent my weekend on a motorcycle actually driving it for myself instead of being a passenger!  But, the memories still plague me whether I am awake or sleeping.  I don't know why I can't shake this.  I'm not happy so why can't I move on?  I do plenty of stuff to make myself happy and I don't know what else to do to move on.  I've been sucked dry and I continue to have my joy stolen from me from such a worthless, self-centered individual. 

My failure of a job hunt isn't exactly helping right now either.  I am so stressed about my finances I don't know what to do.  I'm only working about 20 hrs a week this summer and I need to do more with my time and earn more money.  I don't want September to roll around and leave me broke and needing to pay rent.  Besides, it is soooo empty here I might just go crazy.  I wish someone could tell me what I've been doing wrong to not get a basic customer service job with a degree in Psychology.  I think things happen for a reason, I just wish I knew what the reason is behind not being able to a job.  I have bills to pay too!!

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