Friday, February 25, 2011

Bored Rant

Weekend class.... sooooo bored. 
To make it better I am in a dead zone with no cell phone reception.

I don't have much to talk about today.

I am proud of myself that I have been doing well with my diet and working out this week.  I am excited because I have lost about 2-3 pounds this week already!  I feel completely vain today because the only thing that I have completed other than being in class was working out and tanning.  I even put facebook on hold *gasp* to work on my outward appearance.  I guess sometimes it is good to pamper yourself.  I always feel better after putting a little extra time into my appearance.  Call me vain, I don't care, in fact I was singing "You're so Vain" in the mirror this morning when I was getting ready for class.  I find it amusing that I will probably be more tan in February than I will be all summer!  My tan would be perfect if I was truly going to Mexico next week. 

Talking about working out.  I have missed it!  I'm so glad I am not as busy as I was last semester.  I am finally lifting again and my muscles hurt and it feels good (not to sound masochistic or anything).  I went once today and I'm ready to go again.  The endorphins are giving me energy and putting me in an all together good mood.  I wish I would have worked out more last semester when I was so stressed.

In fact I have been thinking about the loss of relationships that I went through last semester quite a bit lately.  I'm over the people that caused the hurt but the situations still kind of get to me.  I realized this week that there are many things that I have been able to set aside but there are aspects that I haven't placed coping mechanisms for, things that don't come up very often.  I had a week of contemplating some of these things and it has been very healing.  

One thing that has started this wave of thought occurred when I was talking to a friend about loss of relationships and I said "I'm over this guy" and she said "No you're not."  In fact this could be a controversial definition.  I don't think about him or miss him, I do call him inappropriate names from time to time.  In my opinion 99% of the time he doesn't even cross my mind so I am over him.  There are the occasions that I still call him  "fuck face" so looking at that 1% of time, maybe I'm not over it.  I think I am.  Good enough for me!

So much for not having much to say.  I am currently finding this cleansing because talking about divorce and loss of relationship in this class is kind of agitating.  Loss is hard no matter if it is a long-term relationship or a friendship, or even a loss within the family.  It takes time to get over it.  Staying positive is key.  Thankfully my healing process has almost come to a complete circle and I think I am ready to put the past behind me.  I may have thought this before, but I have learned better and I am starting to ignore my past and step forward.

I want to thank you all for your support and the positive reactions to my blog.  This is a nice therapy session for me to ramble on about things on my mind.  Good day to you!

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