This Heart will Start a Riot in Me

So... I have been doing a lot of thinking again.

I am left wondering how someone can make you so happy and so sad all at the same time.

What happened to the good ol' days (3 months ago) where talking to someone put a giant smile on my face?  Now it's like I'm making someone a priority when they only make me an option... again.

How can I melt when I confront them with my frustrations?

Are these my walls speaking?

Or is it my common sense trying to talk to me over my heart?

Am I letting my heart drown out reality?

Do I just enjoy pain too much?

Because it seems that is all I do is open myself up to get hurt.

I think I need to learn when to give up.

I just don't know how something that felt so right,

Can feel so wrong sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could see into the future and see why I go through all this.