Sane Psycho

Today I feel just about as confused as I did last night.  Luckily I was tired enough when I went to bed at one to just zonk out otherwise I could have been up until 5 thinking.  I really dislike the fact that I think so much and over think things.  Sometimes I wish the answers in life were a little bit easier.  I want to be happy, but why does this happiness seem to come at a cost? I feel right now I'm left with more questions than answers and that the answers to my questions are so distant.

I hate sitting around waiting for life.  I have much better things to do with my free time... and in last night's case, not so free time.  I'm willing to do what it takes.  I just don't know what it is that I need to do.  I have been out of practice with this new beginnings thing for 3 years, am I just over thinking this?  A little discussion is all that it would take to clear up my questions, but the opportunity to have this discussion hasn't presented itself. Red flags are flying right now.  This isn't where I wanted this to be.  My extreme caution right now is telling my fight or flight response to start running.  My sense of reason tells me to let it play out just a little longer.  I may just have to rely on my fall back motto of: somethings do or don't happen for a reason. 

The last thing I need right now is to lose another friend.  Sometimes this sh*t is just so consuming.  I shouldn't be so crazy about this right now.  I want to just let it slide but I just don't know what's going on and that drives me insane. I can see I am being "that psycho girl" and that's not the way I want to be.  The good outweighs the bad, but the bad is what is on my mind right now!  I have just hit a wall of uncertainty.  I guess it is bound to happen.

I just want to know that there is someone out there who is thinking of me just as much as I am thinking about them.

And on that note.  I must get back to my homework.  I give a presentation in an hour and I'm not done with it yet.  Once this day is over I'll be feeling a lot better.  I will only have 2 classes left for the rest of this week and the only homework I have is for my "relaxation" class.  

To all my wonderful readers, stay positive!