Is wanting to get back together a defense mechanism?
Our bodies are constantly trying to find a way to be comfortable. If we wear something tight long enough it generally stops annoying us as we get used to it (unless it is going to cause permanent damage). This is our parasympathetic system going to work to attempt to keep us comfortable... because who wants to be uncomfortable?
So... is the desire to want to get back together with an ex simply to help us reach a level of comfort the fastest? Or did my feelings reach places of my heart deeper than I wanted to admit? I do tend to lie to myself about my feelings because I don't deal with emotion very well.
However, I'm left with the question of whether or not it is good to get back together with a certain someone. In the past I have gone through relationships that I had NO DESIRE to interact with that person again. Still, I felt some pains of missing that person and thoughts of getting back together with them were fleeting.
On the other hand, I have gotten back together with an ex in the past and it proved to be very painful. For a while all was well but eventually the relationship ended permanently. Getting back together only prolonged the healing process. At least I knew I had given it my best effort.
How can two people that are so good together fall apart so quickly once they are apart? I am left confused how this relationship crashed and burned so soon after distance separated us physically. Was I just too high and mighty to swallow my own pride? I feel I want to get back together to take it one step at a time to stand up and be the person I know I can be. Even if that means admitting to my shortcomings and finding common ground when I want to stand as king of the hill.
I would rather see this person once in a while than never again.
I just don't know if they would feel the same way. Maybe in a few weeks I will have healed and will have no more questions of getting back together. Maybe in a few weeks the desire will be more intense. The uncertainty of the future causes me discomfort. Where is my crystal ball?
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